To begin my second post, I extend a warning.
I have set traps for you. Traps so clever that I’ve planted them in plain sight. Traps that you won’t avoid.
Do you think you will see them? That you will avoid them?
I hope so. I hope that you believe that you will be keen-eyed as you read on. I want you to believe that you will spot and avoid my every trap.
You are wrong, but believe what you will. My belief isn’t like your belief; mine extends along this tangent: I believe that falling into my traps is an excellent use of your time.
Building my traps took forethought, time and effort, but building traps for you to fall into is an excellent use of my time.
Rethinking Traps
We normally think of traps negatively. We’ve been taught since childhood to avoid mousetraps that sting and bear traps that break bones. But traps can be helpful, can be enjoyable.
If I wish to teach a toddler about mousetraps, I can tell him to touch the cheese. When he touches the cheese, springing the trap, he could reasonably start crying in response to the pain—or, if I’ve sufficiently weakened the trap’s spring, he will only be startled, not harmed. We can then laugh together. While laughing I can show him the difference between how the trap he sprung will put a minor dent in a carrot, and how a normally tensioned mouse trap cuts the carrot in half. At which point, lesson learned, we can again laugh.
Gentle persuasion.
The traps in my writing are the dent-a-carrot kind.
Granted, at this point you still have too little reason to believe anything I tell you. I’ve already “admitted” that I’ve laid traps for you, and since you can’t yet know if I’ve weakened the spring, beware. Trust your mistrust: be skeptical.
But also be open-minded. To be skeptical and open-minded, in a world that discourages both, is difficult. But here, at Books n Blogs, I will earn your trust. Well, not quite. Certainly not all your trust. You won’t send me the passwords to your bank account. I’m seeking only the part of your trust that will let you expect me to be honest.
What You Know is True
To begin earning a share of your trust, I will tell you something that you know is true, and then I’ll tell you how it is not true. By doing so while honoring your skepticism and your open-mindedness, I will begin to earn a portion of your trust.
But first, I hope that you don’t assume that I intend to harm you any more than I assume that you intend to harm me. As the old saying goes, do unto others as you would have them do unto you. That is The Golden Rule, an ages-old motto that is true no matter your race, creed or religion, a motto that is universally true and that encourages each of us to treat others as we want to be treated. So keep that in mind, but still. Give your trust only where trust is earned.
Deeper Traps
Some of my books—those with grayscale covers—are loaded with traps, with traps that you might not see until too late. Even though traps don’t work unless they deceive you, unless in some way they trick you, each of my traps is cunningly designed to free you.
Be deceived; be freed.
I mention the traps that you would find in my books because they have a rhythm, a pacing, a buildup from minor to major, that I can’t duplicate in my blog. But no less for their lack of rhythm, the traps in my posts will still do their job. As you’re about to see. The traps in my books are better, offering unexpectable encouragement, each presented to change you while the story changes the main character. Any degree of change requires that you, dear reader, engage, but don’t worry about that. Helping you engage is my job. But go forward knowing that the less you engage, the less you can be trapped.
Meaning you’ll be safer.
So. To the degree that you willingly detach from your perceived safety, to exactly that degree I will trap you. But my choice is to support your choices, so your involvement or lack thereof is up to you. For instance, you can read A Ghost Refused as the imaginary story of imaginary people, and you will be safe. Or you can risk your life. You can engage, can immerse yourself in the changing, in the growth.
Try it. No matter which choice you make, reading A Ghost Refused (or whichever other of my books with grayscale covers) will be fun. Immersing yourself in A Ghost Refused might not pluck you out of everybody else’s normal… but it might. While remaining fun.
It’s up to you. If you set aside your safety (are you safe?) and risk the twists, all my novels with grayscale covers encourage the same immersion and, while each story is wildly different, each is also the same. Reading one or more of them can awaken you as much as writing each awakens me.
Surprise!
Maybe you’re about to feel that I’ve cut your carrot in half, but I hope that you will see this as a minor dent, as a mere bruising, because I want us to laugh together.
Are you surprised that you’ve already stumbled into the first trap?
Or did you avoid it?
I don’t think so. I don’t think you yet know what I’m talking about.
That first trap. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, then right this moment you are wedged in my snare. Did you unintentionally discard your skepticism?
Your skepticism should have sparked when I asserted that “The Golden Rule is true, is universally true.”
Is it true? Is it universally true?
See the trap?
An Early Confirmation
In citing The Golden Rule, have I told you something that you have always known is true? If so, can I now convince you that it is not true or, at least, that it is not universally true? Can I provide evidence that will overcome your doubts?
Consider applying the rule in the extreme: Would a sadist want a masochist… to beat him with a paddle? Would a masochist want to whip a sadist? Sadists and masochists would scorn applying The Golden Rule to their relationship. The basis of how they connect requires that they do unto each other the opposite of what they want done unto them. Right? One gives pain, the other gets pain. Their roles are consistent opposites. How could the Golden Rule, now a bit less golden, apply to them?
But theirs is not a common relationship, so using their uncommon connection as my evidence is a poor offering. Can’t I offer evidence that is more convincing?
Does the following evidence offer a stronger reason to question The Golden Rule?
Consider a familiar relationship, a relationship that might test The Golden Rule in your own life. This example is humorous if you picture it: what about a parent and child? Do parents apply The Golden Rule to their relationship with their children? Do you expect babies to diaper parents? (Do unto others as…) Do parents want their five-year-old to decide what’s for dinner, leading to pizza and ice cream every night? And how many parents want their teenagers to set parental curfews or decide what their parents can and can’t wear?
Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Are you sure about that?
Parallel Confirmations
Is it possible that there are countless, unnoticed don’t-do-unto-others relationships?
Consider:
When you dine in a restaurant, what do you expect from a cook? That sometimes the cook will dine while you cook?
Do you want The Golden Rule to apply between teachers and students? Should preteens teach degreed educators about quadratic equations?
Do these examples tip the scale? Do you see cause to doubt the universality of The Golden Rule?
If these examples are too weak, then what about applying The Golden Rule to serial murderers and prison guards? Which group do you want inside cells at night, and which group do you want going home?
Do unto others?
Liberating Reality
All our lives we’ve been told that The Golden Rule is the best basis for Human interactions, that it is universally true, that it is an example of the highest Human wisdom. Yet if you think of it as it applies to most of the relationships in your life, you might decide that it holds true only some of the time. The Golden Rule, a Classic Truth, is only true within a reasonable context.
That’s what is missing. Recognition of context is what decides when the rule is valid.
What if, when we examine most Classic Truths, we discover that they are often untrue?
Do unto others? Sure. Within context. All of us want others to be honest and helpful, and so on. But the golden rule is only sometimes golden, is only sometimes true.
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Thus, a trap. No bones broken; just a few carrots dented.
Have I opened your eyes to the artificial truth of the golden rule enough for you to lower the threshold of your doubt? Until a few minutes ago, did you believe that the golden rule always applied?
What have I done?
I have told you something that you knew was true, then showed you how it was not true. My examples demonstrated the importance of context. Sadists/masochists. Killers/guards. Even you, in many aspects of your own relationships, wisely choose to ignore the not-so-golden rule: parent/child.
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Given this, my first trap, I hope that you accept that I mean no harm.
Every time you fall into one of my traps, the best outcome is that you will feel… delighted. You will be delighted because each trap can birth an internal tremor, a tiny but notable change.
An entertaining change—at least, I hope you’ve enjoyed this post—but also a positive change.
My Vow
I will not betray you.
I will not invite you to navigate traps from which the only exit is negative, is ugly. I will willingly trouble you, but only when I believe that troubling you leads to changes that you desire.
At least not until the fifth book in the grayscale series. I’ve designed that book, ready but not yet written, with uncounted traps, and it might provide insights that extend into dark places you would prefer to ignore. But I haven’t yet written that book, so don’t be alarmed.
Potentially Adverse Consequences
Mostly we change ourselves.
I change me, you change you. But a smaller fraction of our changes are engineered by others, some good, some bad.
If you think I’ve devised traps that will temporarily confine you, I’m okay with that. But if I can’t maneuver out of a trap in a way that you might approve, then concerning that trap I have failed you.
If you leave a comment that I’ve failed you I will be sorry, but I will move on.
If a trap leaves you feeling drained or afraid or confused—not likely—that’s okay. Feeling is better than not feeling.
Observing that external things are upsetting internal things is one way we tell ourselves that we must change what is external, what is internal, or both. So feel bad, but move on. Move on by letting me know that I’ve failed you, and how. Just as you have the right to feel bad, you also have the right to let me know I’ve failed you—just as you have the responsibility to move on.
Commencement Reminder
The first line of my first post is: “Beginnings are risky.” I repeated the thesis several times.
Focusing the second post on traps extends that risk, but springing traps without forewarning could annoy you, and would surely make me uncomfortable. Not my intent.
Remember my main goal: to entertain you outrageously.
Draining a few gallons from the pond of what everybodyKnows is second to entertainment, and I’ve set my traps at the shores of that pond. Both elements, the entertainment and the traps, are my efforts to engage you. Draining the pond of a few gallons is my plea to enlist you in the cause we both share: guaranteeing a better future for everybody we love, for everybody in the world.
Trap forewarned, trap sprung, trap explained.
What Awaits Us
As you read future posts, remain skeptical. Remember that my first request in this post was that I want you to be skeptical.
If my posts strengthen your open-minded skepticism rather than dilute it, then please. Support my blog, maybe even my books.
And wherever you find them, remember that “sharing better ideas leads to a better future.”
Thank you.
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While its value extends far beyond this blog, the next post proves that your importance in my universe is far greater than you likely imagine.
What is the subject of my next post?
The Primary Power of Supporters
